Exclusive Interview with TV's Cricket O'Neil! With your blog host, Captain P.J. O'Stubbtoe, P.I.!

Ahoy there, Johnny Octocorns!  It's your blog host reporting to you once again from my second-hand yacht, "The Previously Loved". The latest mystery that happened aboard has been that I bought a box of Triskets yesterday and now they have all disappeared.  I solved the mystery was when I realized I was sleep eating again.  Then found the dead body of the twin brother of the mayor in the bathroom.

Today, an exclusive interview with, former "Days of Our Lives" star and host of Tri-Chester County's talk show, "Cricket", Cricket O'Neil!  Please enjoy this transcript of my show, "The Captain and Ten Neils" where me and ten men named Neil talk about issues that appeal to men.

Captain P.J. O'Stubbtoe, P.I.: Thank you, Neil.  And now tonight's guest, Cricket O'Neil!  Welcome to the show!
Cricket O'Neil: Thank you for having me!
PJ: You were on the intermittently popular soap opera, "Days of Our Lives".
CO: Yes, I played Jennifer Horton, #2 when Melissa Reeves was out with food poisoning for a month in 1990.
PJ: How was that month on a soap opera?
CO: I was only there for two days.
PJ: And why only two days?
CO: Because I forgot the words.
PJ: To the scene?
CO: Yes.
PJ: I believe we have the clip - Neil?

[Episode dated March 12, 1990, Days of Our Lives]
JACK: What did you do to Jennifer?
LAWRENCE: I have done nothing to Jennifer.
JACK: Jennifer, please, speak up!  If he has done anything to harm you, just speak up!
JENNIFER: ....naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...booooooooo.....
LAWRENCE: Can I leave now? If you're not going to accuse me of rape -
JACK: How do you know if she was going to accuse you of rape?
LAWRENCE: Because if I had done so, I am sure she would have spoken up by now.
JACK: Jennifer!  Did Lawrence rape you?
JENNIFER: ....nnnnnnnn...
LAWRENCE: See, Jennifer did not declare me a rapist and that she will be sure that the child she is carrying will be raised away from my evil.
JACK: If she won't, I will!  Just as soon as she tells me such.
JENNIFER: ....oooooooo...

[END Days of Our Lives]

PJ: Riveting.
CO: Thank you.
PJ: Hey, thinking of it, having Cricket O'Neil here on the show makes it more like "The Captain and Eleven Neils"!
CO: ....nnnnannnnannnnannnnnnannnnnannnnaaa....
PJ: Be sure to catch the next episode of "Cricket!"  Today's show, the rise of diabetes in monsters! Back to you, Neil.

[End The Captain and Ten Neils]

Did I come off as too startstruck? No matter, that's all the time I have - there's been a puddingnapping!  Looks like I have another crime to solve.