Rob McLendon thinks you're a moron

Sensitive Robert

Tri-Chester County's Citizen of the Year award goes to

Sensitive Robert!

Pictured here with Sensitive Robert is Arya McAwesome.  Arya was orphaned when a car hit her mother.  She and her brothers and sisters were taken to the shelter where only Arya survived.  After being taken home by a shelter worker, she was put in the dumpster by the shelter worker's husband.  It looked like Arya was going to have a sad end.

That's when Sensitive Robert stepped in and adopted Arya.  He feeds her with a baby bottle, is showing her how to use the litter box, and cleans her afterward.  Sensitive Robert is stepping in for the mother Arya no longer has.

Sensitive Robert is the example of what a top notch citizen of the community should be!  Fun loving, brave, and proud to love pussy.

Exclusive Interview with TV's Cricket O'Neil! With your blog host, Captain P.J. O'Stubbtoe, P.I.!

Ahoy there, Johnny Octocorns!  It's your blog host reporting to you once again from my second-hand yacht, "The Previously Loved". The latest mystery that happened aboard has been that I bought a box of Triskets yesterday and now they have all disappeared.  I solved the mystery was when I realized I was sleep eating again.  Then found the dead body of the twin brother of the mayor in the bathroom.

Today, an exclusive interview with, former "Days of Our Lives" star and host of Tri-Chester County's talk show, "Cricket", Cricket O'Neil!  Please enjoy this transcript of my show, "The Captain and Ten Neils" where me and ten men named Neil talk about issues that appeal to men.

Captain P.J. O'Stubbtoe, P.I.: Thank you, Neil.  And now tonight's guest, Cricket O'Neil!  Welcome to the show!
Cricket O'Neil: Thank you for having me!
PJ: You were on the intermittently popular soap opera, "Days of Our Lives".
CO: Yes, I played Jennifer Horton, #2 when Melissa Reeves was out with food poisoning for a month in 1990.
PJ: How was that month on a soap opera?
CO: I was only there for two days.
PJ: And why only two days?
CO: Because I forgot the words.
PJ: To the scene?
CO: Yes.
PJ: I believe we have the clip - Neil?

[Episode dated March 12, 1990, Days of Our Lives]
JACK: What did you do to Jennifer?
LAWRENCE: I have done nothing to Jennifer.
JACK: Jennifer, please, speak up!  If he has done anything to harm you, just speak up!
JENNIFER: ....naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...booooooooo.....
LAWRENCE: Can I leave now? If you're not going to accuse me of rape -
JACK: How do you know if she was going to accuse you of rape?
LAWRENCE: Because if I had done so, I am sure she would have spoken up by now.
JACK: Jennifer!  Did Lawrence rape you?
JENNIFER: ....nnnnnnnn...
LAWRENCE: See, Jennifer did not declare me a rapist and that she will be sure that the child she is carrying will be raised away from my evil.
JACK: If she won't, I will!  Just as soon as she tells me such.
JENNIFER: ....oooooooo...

[END Days of Our Lives]

PJ: Riveting.
CO: Thank you.
PJ: Hey, thinking of it, having Cricket O'Neil here on the show makes it more like "The Captain and Eleven Neils"!
CO: ....nnnnannnnannnnannnnnnannnnnannnnaaa....
PJ: Be sure to catch the next episode of "Cricket!"  Today's show, the rise of diabetes in monsters! Back to you, Neil.

[End The Captain and Ten Neils]

Did I come off as too startstruck? No matter, that's all the time I have - there's been a puddingnapping!  Looks like I have another crime to solve.

Hollywood: Buy my car for 1 Million Dollars

Leave comment if interested.

Text:  My Subaru Outback (1998, green) is not running and I have a lot of debt. That means Hollywood should buy my car for a million dollars. 

I'm not expecting average people to buy my car for a million dollars - you've got your own crap to deal with. I'm talking to people who make the movies, the kind of movies where robots talk and murder things and some hot chick never shows her tits. You obviously have an endless supply of millions of dollars and I would like you to buy my car.

Here's some other special features about the car:

* Windshield is pre-cracked for convenience
* Safety feature: left mirror still intact!
* home-engineered electric socket from your battery to your lighter
* DIY bumper

This car is piece of shit and I can't retire it. There were multiple sequels to "Free Willy". Hollywood, buy my car for one million dollars.

Octocountdown - #1! With the return of your blog host, Captain P.J. O'Stubbtoe, P.I.!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO THE OCTOCORN NETWORK!

Hard to believe that it's only been a year since The Octocorn Network came into our lives!  Harder to believe than that is that we are at number one on our countdown!

I'd like to thank Rexual Saurington, aka, "Sexy Rexy" for filling in for me on our #2 slot.  It turns out, the mayor was not dead, he was just locked in the bathroom and we assumed the worst...until he actually died of a gunshot wound on my second-hand yacht, the "Previously Loved".

So let's not waste a moment to get to The Octocorn Network's number one video - the video that began it all - "Digestion Town"!

That girl has potential to be an international model!

That's all for our Octocountdown - until next time or next crime, O'Stubbtoe out!

Octocountdown - #2! With extra-special guest blog host, Sexy Rexy!

Hullo, Johnny Octocorns!  You may notice that I am not your usual host, Captain P.J. O'Stubbtoe, P.I. who happens to be close to finding out who the dickens murdered our mayor aboard O'Stubbtoe's second-hand yacht, the "Previously Loved".

I am Rexual Saurington, best known to all those in Tri-Chester County as, "Sexy Rexy", the town's only homosexual who is also a dinosaur.  I am also known for my past days as a nude model in Latvia and for running Tri-Chester County's classiest cocktail bar, "High Spirits".  As of now, I am also known for special guest commentary for The Octocorn Network.

When you last left O'Stubbtoe, number two on the Octocountdown was just right around the corner and lo and behold, it is here!  The anticipation is nothing more than sunning bare buttocks in Nice while waiting for your young lover, a Spainard named Raul, to drizzle cocoa butter onto your parched and tender regions.

And now I present to you, Johnny Octocorns, number two on your Octocountdown, "Good Company", animated by Melissa Piekaar!  

Just smashing!

Until we meet again for cheese, whine, and karaoke,

Rexual "Sexy Rexy" Saurington

Octocountdown - #3! And a world premiere video! With your blog host, Captain P.J. O'Stubbtoe!

Ahoy, Johnny Octocorns!  Exciting times at #3!  I'm Captain P.J. O'Stubbtoe, P.I. and this is the Octocountdown!

Coming in at number three is a video that speaks to the question, "Have you ever noticed that there's no place both cheap, classy and convenient to drink booze in the morning?"  Now there is with "Mornin' Booze!"

One of Tri-Chester County's more notorious citizens, Neil Jeff Gordon has had a string of business ventures, but it seems like Mornin' Booze is sticking.  Neil Jeff and I had a conversation just the other morning while I was getting some Irish Coffee to go.  Now that the mayor of Tri-Chester County is dead (which, yes, it did happen on my second-hand yacht, the "Previously Loved" and I am hot on the case!), Neil Jeff has expressed an interest in running for mayor in the 2012 election.  Good luck to you, Neil Jeff!

 
Also - this just in!  The Octocorn Network just released their 21st video!  Let's watch this world premiere  video!

Wow!  That's exactly how I feel after eating fast food AND watching pornography!

We have one more part to the countdown before The Octocorn Network celebrates its FIRST anniversary!  Stay tuned!